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Friday, April 18, 2014

Five Minute Friday - Glue

Fridays, Five Minutes, unFettered writing.  The only rule is to visit and encourage in comments the one who links up before you.  Trust me, you will not want to start at one.  Join us?  Head over to Lisa-Jo Baker's to be a part of the most amazing community online.

Five Minute Friday


This has been one of those days when there doesn’t seem to be enough glue in the world to hold together this shattered and tattered day in the life.  When the pieces are held together in your hands and the slightest bump threatens to send everything flying.

When you take a deep breath and stick your eyes above the edge of the foxhole to spy the enemy.  Just then you are spotted and all opponents shout “Charge!” and run headlong at you with weapons drawn.  It’s been that kind of day.

When you keep telling yourself that this GOOD Friday is feeling like anything but good because your own ugly anger and lack of patience is pushed out at every. Single. Turn.  The Good is obviously not in me, nor in the world.

That’s why we so desperately need that Holy Good that came down and broke apart willingly to be the glue that would put us back together.  Except we were all missing a piece and didn’t realize it until we were attached to the heart of the Savior.  Only then are we whole.  We show cracks and our dirty water leaks out through the cracks when we try to hold a beautiful bouquet.  But hopefully, we become a useful vessel rather than shards that cause more bleeding.

photo credit: ~sAn~ via photopin cc

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Five Minute Friday - Writer

Lisa-Jo does this thing on Fridays that has turned into this thing on the Thursday night before that has turned into community.  I'm there now, wouldn't you know.  So, I'm going to stop for 5 minutes and see what spills through these fingers.  I'll link it up and visit the one who did before me to spread some encouragement.  Want to join us?  Come along for the ride.

Five Minute Friday

My five minutes on: WRITER

So funny that the word tonight is "writer".  Lately I've been anything but a writer.  I use that term very loosely, mind you.  Life has been all up in my face at times, so I guess I've been more of a "liver".  HA! That is sooo not what I thought would come out.  Not an internal organ, but one who is living.  Better?  Not much.  Now you see why I use that term so loosely when referring to myself.

Thing is I jumped back in the deep end of words earlier today and spilled part of my history out on this here very screen.  It should've been harder.  Maybe I didn't really thin through what I was saying or putting out into the world.  The thing is, if it's truth you don't have to think too hard about it.  You know it.  Expressing it doesn't always come easily, but I wasn't going for pretty.  I was just trying to tell my story.  I don't know who needs it, but it's there.

The best part of this word is that when you click on Lisa-Jo's link you will find more amazing writers than you can imagine.  Not all of them have a book that released this week either.  You'll do yourself a favor by checking them out (and getting that new book!).


Did You Know? - Part 1

I think it's high time I just laid some things out.  It's a spring cleaning of sorts of my inner bookshelf.  Many will say "You have a story, and we need to hear it."  I'm here to tell you that you have many stories.  Some may seem trivial or just like a pity party.  Others may be so deep you need a full wetsuit and oxygen tank to plumb.  How else can we get to know each other if we don't tell these stories?

I'm going to start with one here today, and my hope is that over time I'll add more.  I'd love to hear your stories, too.  You can email me, leave it in the comments, or leave a link to your own blog.  Whatever works best for you is fine with me.

Up front I'm going to tell you that these will be all over the place.  I'm a bit of a grab bag.  I have a feeling you are, too.  Let's jump straight into the deep end here and get wet all over.  It's the easiest way to adjust to the water.

I've had four unsuccessful In Vitro Fertilization treatments.  My fingers paused above the keys as I started to write "failed".  I don't know what made me go with a different word.  It just seemed to ache less.  Now I'm left pondering why that is and why we choose certain words over others, but that's for another day.

Back to the IVFs.  The first was wrapped up in so much tragedy that it is hard to separate the experience from the environment that surrounded me.  At the time, we lived in eastern North Carolina and I drove through a flood-ravaged state to Eastern Carolina University.  This was just after Hurricane Floyd devastated the counties surrounding our home.  I drove by empty shells of homes with mounds of detritus at the ends of driveways, sofas caught in fences above my head, and big wheels in the middle of soy fields.

I related emotionally to everything I saw around me.  Reality had swept in, cleaned me out and everything looked covered in mud.  Kitchen lights are cold in the morning when you are sitting with syringes, ice to numb the skin, and bandages to cover the bleeding.  You try to not let hope fill you at the same rate as the needles fill the sharps container.

Every bit of life is scripted, all the rules are followed and there is nothing to show for it.  After all the degradation and humiliation of being a subject at a teaching hospital, you try to find dignity.  You also skip church on Mother's Day and Father's Day.

When you feel strong enough and the bank account has built back up, you try again, and maybe again, and maybe one more time.

When the specialist says that you have to give them one more shot, you think about all the ones you've given yourself and most assuredly say that you do not.

It's the grasping for what should be so innate that multiplies the tension and frustration.  You don't want to talk about it for fear of making others uncomfortable.  A keen sense of empathy has developed with what makes others uncomfortable.  I pray that hasn't been the case here.

I don't want to leave you with a sense of pity for me, I just want to let you know that this is part of my history.  I don't skip church anymore - although I cringe at how many churches treat those two holidays.  I have come to a "Joseph" place where I see the plan that intended it all for good.  It was a long road, but one that led to eventually to Las Vegas.

Perhaps we'll meet there next time.

Your turn.  I want to hear one of your stories.  No need to go where you aren't prepared, but anything that helps me know you.  Maybe you can just tell me about why you loved or hated high school.  I'm all ears.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Surprised By Motherhood - The Biggest April Fools

The irony that today is April Fool's Day is not lost on me.  What mom amongst us has not played the fool, laughed at a preschooler's jokes that make no sense, or gone to lengths previously unknown to amuse the littles circling our knees?

We laugh until we cry, or cry until we laugh throughout motherhood.  It's part survival tactic, part unexpected joy of motherhood.  It's all around surprising.  And completely BRAVE!

Today is the day we officially welcome "Surprised by Motherhood: Everything I Never Expected About Being a Mom" by Lisa-Jo Baker into the big wide world of books.  I love this book (and its author) so much I gave away a copy on my birthday!  You can read more about it here.

I want to give you a taste to whet your appetite.  The voice is Lisa-Jo's, the heart is a mom's, and if you look closely you may just see yourself in this video.  WARNING: have the tissues handy before you hit play.

Who should read this book?

  • Anyone who is a mom or has a mom.  

Who should you give this book to?

  • Anyone who is or has a mom (also their husband)
  • your MOPS group
  • Bible study
  • your sister
  • your best friend
  • your cousin
  • your cousin's wife 
  • your niece
  • that mom struggling with the two in the cart at the grocery store
  • The mom at McDonald's late on a Saturday with three kids in various uniforms all covered in mud.

So get your copy now, don't let Mother's Day or a random Tuesday sneak up on you.  You won't be disappointed and neither will they.