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Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Bowing Down

I’ve been avoiding writing because I don’t want to face the words that have been in my head for over a week now.  That crazy letter C is showing up again – this time in a really ugly I-don’t-want-to-admit-it kind of way.  I don’t even remember the spark that started this fire, but it’s still burning. I think maybe putting it out there is the first step to extinguishing it.

I have two really big idols in my life.  I’ve never really considered myself the idolatrous type, but apparently I am.  Forget Carrie Underwood or anyone else, I have a feeling these are the two real American Idols: Comfort and Convenience.  I bow at these two daily and look to them to meet most of my felt needs.  Am I alone here?  Probably not.

The problem is that I don’t know where to start to do a darn thing about it.  How do we endure in this society and not succumb to the habits that permeate every single facet of it?  The harder question is do I even want to?

I’m at a loss as to what this means for me, my family.

It’s like I just took the red pill from Morpheus, or was it the blue one?

Either way, I feel like my eyes have been fully opened to a conspiracy that I had an inkling was there all along.  I’ve said for as long as I can remember that God knew the exact right time and place for me to be born for these exact two reasons.

The thing is, I don’t think that God’s main purpose for me in this life is to enjoy comfort and convenience as the “be all end all” of this world.

So that’s where I’m at and where I’ve been lately.  Knowing me this struggle will wax and wane in my mind and heart.  I may never come to a good resolution.

Sorry to leave this so up in the air, but such is life and the big issues before us.  Rarely are conclusions reached in less than four hundred words.  Suffice it to say much prayer is ahead of me.

Is this a conflict you have dealt with or considered?   I’d love to hear your thoughts.


  1. When we had the wind storm in CT a few years ago and lost power for a week, I felt desperate. Even though we were able to move in to a friend's home for the week, I felt completely out of element. And it challenged me to the core. I think you hit on something- that it is so easy to slip into expecting comfort and convenience that it becomes a right. Seeing the ugliness in myself that week has really challenged how I have lived since. I have had a different perspective- and it is still not where I want it to be. It creeped in again this week with all of the sickness. I haven't been able to go anywhere for the past four days and I didn't respond well tonight.
    Oh, goodness- you got me going. I could go on and on about this because I too have so much to learn. I am so thankful that you wrote this post because we do need to think about this, to pray about it, to submit our will to Christ. And not when we are faced with crises, but when things are comfortable and convenient! I love this quote- "If somethings not broken, break it!" Kind of contrary to our culture, but we should be constantly seeking to bow before our Maker and allow Him to define who we are and who we need to be.
    Glad you broke your silence. I have been missing you. Clearly- I've made up for it in one comment! :)

    1. Clearly! :) I'd love to know where that quote is from. The loss of our water for less than one day was very eye-opening. We've lost power for days before, but this was a big "inconvenience" when everything else was fine. There was lots of praying for those without access to clean water that day.
      I'm so glad you shared your story about the storm. I also have a great new term for you, so much funnier than "cabin fever" - SHACK WACKY!! One of our mutual friends on FB used this and I thought it was hilarious! hope you got a little smile just then.

  2. Wow, Amy. As a matter of fact, I HAVE been wrestling with this, especially after my trip to Guatemala. We have SO much -- TOO much, and it's strangling us.

    I'm interested to see where the Lord leads you with this. You're not alone on this path.

    1. Thanks for sharing. I hope it does go somewhere and not just die here with this post. Glad you are joining me.

  3. I love to read a kindred spirit that God is "peeling back" layer by layer. My ideals and attachments are rooted in the flesh...even my own ambition and striving. All are being reduced and exposed as nothing fulfilled. It is painful this place at times, but there is no going back. So I wait naked like before Him pursuing Him for Him with a simple willingness...not let go of all that is earthly, even my most treasured attachments like my children...Why!?!? Because I believe He knows best...Wishing well in your spirit in waiting!!

    1. Thank you for the sweet and encouraging words. This struggle against self is lifelong and one of the toughest we face.