I’ve been avoiding writing because I don’t want to face the words that have been in my head for over a week now. That crazy letter C is showing up again – this time in a really ugly I-don’t-want-to-admit-it kind of way. I don’t even remember the spark that started this fire, but it’s still burning. I think maybe putting it out there is the first step to extinguishing it.
I have two really big idols in my life. I’ve never really considered myself the idolatrous type, but apparently I am. Forget Carrie Underwood or anyone else, I have a feeling these are the two real American Idols: Comfort and Convenience. I bow at these two daily and look to them to meet most of my felt needs. Am I alone here? Probably not.
The problem is that I don’t know where to start to do a darn thing about it. How do we endure in this society and not succumb to the habits that permeate every single facet of it? The harder question is do I even want to?
I’m at a loss as to what this means for me, my family.
It’s like I just took the red pill from Morpheus, or was it the blue one?
Either way, I feel like my eyes have been fully opened to a conspiracy that I had an inkling was there all along. I’ve said for as long as I can remember that God knew the exact right time and place for me to be born for these exact two reasons.
The thing is, I don’t think that God’s main purpose for me in this life is to enjoy comfort and convenience as the “be all end all” of this world.
So that’s where I’m at and where I’ve been lately. Knowing me this struggle will wax and wane in my mind and heart. I may never come to a good resolution.
Sorry to leave this so up in the air, but such is life and the big issues before us. Rarely are conclusions reached in less than four hundred words. Suffice it to say much prayer is ahead of me.
Is this a conflict you have dealt with or considered? I’d love to hear your thoughts.